Wednesday, November 19, 2008
I am generally a pretty happy person. Despite the title of my blog, I tend to follow the principle of live and let live. However, there are a few things that irritate the ever-loving shit out of me.
1. People who name their children after a real word but spell it wrong. I can't tell you how many times I have seen the name Chasity and wanted to claw somebody's eyes out.
2. People who think that Joss Whedon is the single greatest television writer ever. Every vampire story is a rip-off of Buffy or Angel, even if they were made ten or more years before Buffy was created. Every story about people travelling around in a spaceship is derivative of Firefly, yes, even Star Trek. Look, he's good, the original Buffy movie is one of my all-time favorite films and there are some really good episodes of his TV shows. That's no reason to start a cult.
3. Reality show contestants who act like total bitches and later cry that they were edited bad. Honey, if the editors didn't have so many moments of you being an irredeemable whore, you wouldn't have been edited to look like one.
4. Sore losers, aka republicans posting on the internet. Please go back to jacking off to pictures of your goddess Ann Coulter. And also, please go back to school and learn what communism is, what socialism is, and how they apply to the real world.
5. World of Warcraft.
6. That godawful Beyonce song, "If I Were a Boy". It's a sexist piece of crap. If I were a boy, I'd change the channel on the radio every time this song came on… oh wait, I already do that. Then, if I were a boy I guess I would play with myself for a few days and then go hang out in the men's locker room.
7. Research papers. Why do I need to write research papers for programming classes? We don't use MLA format in C++.
8. Nerds who vlog on YouTube about any of the following topics for five minutes or more: Anime, other YouTube members, Insane Clown Posse, Asperger's and how it causes them to be unable to do anything remotely meaningful with their lives, sex (which they are obviously not having), race, conspiracy crap (all that 9/11 stuff, the Obama secret Muslim crap, tin foil hats, etc.). And on a related note…
9. People who post videos about their stupid fetishes. Look, there is nothing wrong with having a fetish, it's perfectly fine if you want to suck on a woman's toes or wear diapers or whatever. It is not okay to share this with the world at large. This is something that should be shared with a significant other or discussed with likeminded individuals. If you want to put yourself in a giant balloon and get your rocks off, ok, that's cool, just don't film it and put it up on YouTube. I mean really, it's just stupid.
Thank you SomethingAwful.com for finding this little gem of a video.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
HA! You thought I was going to say something for real.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
In the good news, the democrats have taken a majority of the wins for senate and house races. In the bad news, 7 out of 8 states have banned gay marriage. Arizona was the sole dissenter, rejecting a proposed gay marriage bill 66% to 34%. The gap was narrowed in a few states so there are signs of progress, as long as you don't look at Tennessee.... let's look at Tennessee...
81% for the ban
South Carolina wasn't far behind their redneck cousins passing their bill with a 78% majority. The other offenders on the list with results are as follows:
State: For: Against:
Colorado 53% 47%
Idaho 63% 37%
South Dakota 52% 48%
Virginia 57% 43%
Wisconsin 59% 41%
Think you're safe if you're straight? The Virginia ban will also affect the rights of heterosexual couples who are unmarried, removing such things like the classification of domestic violence. Girlfriend beaters rejoice!
Well, I know where not to spend my vacation time now....
But in world shattering other news....
It was recently released that Britney Spears is fililng for divorce from notorious rapper K-fed. How did the soon to be ex find out about the divorce? A text message from the oh so couth wife while he was in the middle of a television interview piece. Ah such class the wealthy display...
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Of course Christianity is no better in that respect *cough* inquisition *cough*. I have no particular fondness for the Catholic church. I feel it's a branch of the Christian family much in need of some updates and modernizing, much like their distant though equally intolerant cousins the Southern Baptists. On this particular occasion though, I think I have to side with the pope. While I'm generally considered a liberal on the political scale, I'm not going to become an apologist for religious fanatics. From the behavior of the adherents to Islam, I would think that medieval text citing them as violent is pretty accurate. Of course, I would still say the exact same thing about Christianity.
But, oh, Christianity preaches tolerance and love and forgiveness and puppies and rainbows.
I've read up on Christianity, belonged to both above mentioned branches of the church even so I have some familiarity with the beliefs. I'm not so familiar with Islam. As a pseudo-intellectual I felt pained at the obvious gap in my knowledge and immediately resolved to rectify it. Whenever I am faced with a crisis of knowledge I first turn to the internet, the most infallible source of information known to man. Knowing there was too much out there to filter through before I hit menopause I decided to go back to the ancient method of reading a book.
The best way to read about a religion is to read the text the religion is based on. For Islam, it is the Koran, or Quran or Qur'an. Like any red-blooded American, I went to that pinnacle of capitalism: Wal-Mart. Living in the south, I should have known what I would find there. Nestled snugly behind the cigarette aisle is the spiritual section of books. Bibles of every shape, size and color, Bible study guides and various chicken soup for the soul conceives and maybe the latest Left Behind novel lined the short shelves. There was no sign of the Koran, or for that matter any non-Christian religious book. Giving Wally World the benefit of the doubt I went to the main book area to continue the search. I found plenty of sudoku, teen angst, and romance novels, but no Koran. Saddened, I left the store with only cat food.
Outside, in the parking lot was a white van that had been painted over with various religious phrases, mostly invectives against the gays, the KKK, the sinners and for some reason the reverend T.D. Jakes who would all burn in hell. The van was covered with this on all sides. Standing around the van was a trio of children waiting for their parents (the van owners) to come out of the store. The children looked like they were between seven and twelve years old. The children were shouting at all passers-by. This is what they were shouting at strangers they had never met:
"God hates you!"
Over and over again, God hates you.
Tolerance, love, forgiveness, puppies and rainbows.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Other than that, I'm busy plotting for Phred's birthday...more to come.
Sunday, August 28, 2005
1. Steroids - If you are a professional athlete and you do not want to test positive for steroids, here's a helpful hint: Don't take health supplements. Did you make it? no. Do you know exactly what's in it? no. Can you be a good athlete without drugs? it's been done for a very long time before you came along buddy.
2. Cindy Sheehan - I respect that you are grieving for your son, but I have to ask two questions. Why did you not say all these things when Bush did meet with you? Where was your anti-war protest before your son died. This demonstrates all that is wrong with Americans today. I don't care until it affects me...mememememe. Let's all of us take a minute out of our busy lives and just think about somebody else. It does wonders for the soul.
3. Famous evangelists calling for the U.S. to assassinate other world leaders. Now that you've backpedaled and said you were taken out of context, just think about the New Testament. Would Jesus assassinate somebody?
4. Japan/China relations - There is increasing anti-Japan sentiment in China. Restaurants refusing to serve Japanese customers unless they apologize for atrocities commited in WWII, complaints about Japanese textbooks downplaying these atrocities. Yeah, China probably got it pretty bad, but you know what? Hiroshima and Nagasaki weren't in China so they can shut the hell up already. Before you start throwing stones at Japan for what they did 60 years ago, how about let's talk about your human rights policies.
5. Britney Spears talk of retirement once baby is born - Please please please, if only you'd thought of it sooner.
6. Evolution/Intelligent Design debate in Kansas - This debate has taken a strange and interesting turn, and I like it. For details and my opinion on the whole thing, you dear reader have a homework assignment. Open your favorite search engine and put in: Flying Spaghetti Monster. Trust me on this one.
List 3 things that bug you - things that others may find trivial. Then tag 5 of your friends to do the same:
1. People who go to a public restroom, do their business and then go through the following ritual: a. Go to paper towel dispenser and feed out a length of paper towel, then leave it hanging. b. Wash hands. c. dry hands with the lenght they let out, then use the towel to turn off the water. Bonus irritation points for the people who then use the towel to open that oh so dirty bathroom door. Being germ conscious is one thing, but this borders on obsessive compulsive.
2. Coupon clippers in the quickie lines. One or two coupons is fine, we all like to save money, but when it takes more time to recalculate the coupons than it took to ring up the groceries, use another line for people who have the time to wait.
3. Bling It On. Thankfully, I have not seen this infomercial in some time and that's a good thing. To see a middle aged white woman gushing about her bling just makes my heart sad.
I don't have five bloggers who haven't already been tagged for this so if you are a stranger browsing, please feel free to perpetuate this madness :-).