Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Some Things I Hate 

I am generally a pretty happy person. Despite the title of my blog, I tend to follow the principle of live and let live. However, there are a few things that irritate the ever-loving shit out of me.

1. People who name their children after a real word but spell it wrong. I can't tell you how many times I have seen the name Chasity and wanted to claw somebody's eyes out.

2. People who think that Joss Whedon is the single greatest television writer ever. Every vampire story is a rip-off of Buffy or Angel, even if they were made ten or more years before Buffy was created. Every story about people travelling around in a spaceship is derivative of Firefly, yes, even Star Trek. Look, he's good, the original Buffy movie is one of my all-time favorite films and there are some really good episodes of his TV shows. That's no reason to start a cult.

3. Reality show contestants who act like total bitches and later cry that they were edited bad. Honey, if the editors didn't have so many moments of you being an irredeemable whore, you wouldn't have been edited to look like one.

4. Sore losers, aka republicans posting on the internet. Please go back to jacking off to pictures of your goddess Ann Coulter. And also, please go back to school and learn what communism is, what socialism is, and how they apply to the real world.

5. World of Warcraft.

6. That godawful Beyonce song, "If I Were a Boy". It's a sexist piece of crap. If I were a boy, I'd change the channel on the radio every time this song came on… oh wait, I already do that. Then, if I were a boy I guess I would play with myself for a few days and then go hang out in the men's locker room.

7. Research papers. Why do I need to write research papers for programming classes? We don't use MLA format in C++.

8. Nerds who vlog on YouTube about any of the following topics for five minutes or more: Anime, other YouTube members, Insane Clown Posse, Asperger's and how it causes them to be unable to do anything remotely meaningful with their lives, sex (which they are obviously not having), race, conspiracy crap (all that 9/11 stuff, the Obama secret Muslim crap, tin foil hats, etc.). And on a related note…

9. People who post videos about their stupid fetishes. Look, there is nothing wrong with having a fetish, it's perfectly fine if you want to suck on a woman's toes or wear diapers or whatever. It is not okay to share this with the world at large. This is something that should be shared with a significant other or discussed with likeminded individuals. If you want to put yourself in a giant balloon and get your rocks off, ok, that's cool, just don't film it and put it up on YouTube. I mean really, it's just stupid.

Thank you SomethingAwful.com for finding this little gem of a video.

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Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Keith Says it Better Than I Can 

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